Why do I love a guy who hurts me so much?
Throughout our relationship he has broken up with me 4 times. The first tine because he read my messages and saw that a guy (who was just a friend) was texting me. But he didn't tell me thats why , he just broke all contact with me and gave no explanation. The Second time was because I was jelous that a really pretty girl that he met in a club one night was texting him all the time ( he said it was just because they come from the same city in brazil) But any way he got mad that i was jelous and broke up with me. He came back again , and I like an Idiot took him back. Then one night when i was dunk I told him I was bisexual. The next day he said that was too crazy for him and he broke up with me. At this stage I was compeletely heartbroken and this guy, who is an aquaintence of my boyfriend kept asking me out and stuff. I didn't want to sit around and wait for mt boyfriend to come back to me again so I went out with him. When my ex this out he went crazy and smashed my laptop. He said I was a slut and bever wanted to see me again. Then after a long time he came back telling me how much he loved me and needed me, and that he would change his plans to go back to brazil to stay with me in ireland. And of course, me being so weak ran straight back to him. everything was going great for a while, until one night we were out and kinda drnk, he asked me if i slept with that guy, I said yeah and he went crazy calling me a slut and said he never wanted to see me again.He deleted me on facebook and wouldnt answer any of my calls. We eventualy spoke and he said he could never forget what I did to him and that eventhough he loves me we can never be together. He has made me feel so guilty for what I did, and he has made me lose all confidence in my self. Before I met him I was so strong and independent, now I just feel empty without him. I know our relationship has been so dramatic, and I have been an idiot running back to him so many times but each time we break up it gets harder. one minute he was changing his life plans to stay with me, the next he never wants to see me agian, I really can't take it anymore I know I am a fool, but if he wanted to take me back tomorow I would run back with open arms.Why do I still love this guy? How can I forget about him? How can I concentrate on the negative things? How do I get my self-confidenceand strength back? I don't want to be a doormat for the rest of my life!
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered - 9 Answers
People's Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
Answer 1 :
Eventually, you will get tired of his crap and make a stand for yourself and tell him exactly how you feel. Then, tell him to either take it or leave it because you can and will do WAY better.
Answer 2 :
Hard situation your in. You have to get over him... don't believe the crap he tells you about how he loves you. He is obviously desperate. Your too good for him, don't feel empty without him, find someone thats better for you.
Answer 3 :
Honestly! girl say Esta la vista. do not go out with that creep. someone who is willing to break your lap top is willing to break you. my step father is the same way. he started with items and things that are not living, and now he has moved on to my mom. she has all the bruises. notice the signs before you get hurt. he sounds abusive.
Answer 4 :
Sounds like you are in a toxic relationship -- it's either your self-confidence and strength, or him
Answer 5 :
he sounds like a ball of drama.. is he ridiculously hott or great in bed? that might explain some things.
Answer 6 :
See a psychologist and get some strong trustworthy people to support you. These things happen quite often. This is what wife beaters do. They break their partners down until they can control them with a mix of fear and guilt. Even when there's no violence this is sometimes referred to as "emotional rape." When a guy shows signs that he believe he owns you (especially when you're no longer going out with them) it is always a bad sign. You need to get through this and though it is not impossible to do it alone, it is usually quite difficult.
Answer 7 :
I don't think you love him. I think you are like many young women -- desperate to be in a relationship with ANYBODY instead of being alone. I think you're also a bit of an adrenalin junkie ("our relationship has been so dramatic.") Real love doesn't feel like a soap opera--you don't have all the drama when a relationship is working well. If you want to be sure he doesn't want you back? Call the cops and file charges against him for breaking your laptop. That's against the law, and he needs to learn that grownups don't throw tantrums and break other people's expensive tools. This jerk sounds like he hates women and he CERTAINLY doesn't respect you. He's been manipulating you by making you feel guilty for things that you don't need to feel guilty for. Texting a friend? Going out with someone else when Mr. Jerk had already broken up with you? Hon, if someone breaks up, you're FREE. You don't need his permission to go out with someone else. These are all controlling behaviors. This guy is an abuser. Kick him to the curb. A wise friend told me, when I was trying to break out of a relationship that was less dramatic but equally destructive to my well-being, that it takes about THREE WEEKS to break a dependent relationship pattern (or start a positive one.) He said to do whatever it took to avoid any contact with the problem person, and do things that I never did with that person (for instance, we used to go hiking, so I started going for bike rides instead.) Do some basic things for self-protection. Don't give him the chance to call you back. Take his number off your cellphone, block his email address. And STICK WITH IT. Tell your friends--the ones you can count on--that you're trying to get shed of this lout once and for all, and ask them to help you stay strong. It isn't easy, but every day of taking your life back, you'll get stronger. Don't let that jerk waste one more minute of your life. Hang in there!
Answer 8 :
Hi:) Sometimes people confuse these kinds of relationships for love bc they seem so passionate. The constant drama and break ups only to make up appear to some people as if you must be meant to be cause you always get back together. In reality it's a dysfunctional relationship. Love is not that hard. He's a jerk. Go do better:)
Answer 9 :
You have a history together that is full of emotions - good and bad - and these good emotions are the ones that make you think you will be happy, this time. The truth is that if you don't change what was wrong the last time you were together then you will always be in a loop of the 'same old same old' problems. You have to work at the problems and fix them or don't get back together. There literally has to be proof that the two of you have worked through whatever problems you had together - jealousy, communication, self confidence - before you should get back together and try again. But honestly honey, if you work on your self confidence - like you know you need to - then you may not want him back, you may find that you deserve someone better then him. You never know what life will bring you but you have to keep improving your life to have new things come into it or else, like I said, you will be stuck in the same loop over and over again. From the sounds of it the site below may help you out. There is nothing more important then self confidence to make you happy and successful in life...remember that
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